A teenager turned to Reddit with her heartbreaking and dramatic story, seeking for people’s opinions and support.
Here’s the whole story:
The OP shared, (Edited) “I (18F) lost my dad 3 weeks ago. He was my best friend, my safe place, and honestly the only parent who really got me. I was wrecked.
Then, 15 minutes before the service, my stepmother approaches me and casually says, as if nothing happened, ‘Hey, could you just keep an eye on Adam? He’s having a hard time, and I want to be able to focus on greeting people.’”
The young woman explained, “My mom and I are… strained, and she divorced him when I was 10. He remarried when I was 13, and his wife ‘Stacy’ (40sF) came with her own son, Adam (9M now). To be real, I never bonded with them.
Stacy always treated me like a guest in my own dad’s house, and Adam was a spoiled little tornado. My dad tried to make it work, but I mostly avoided going over once I hit 16. We were closer one-on-one anyway.”
The OP’s stepmother didn’t care much about her feelings and was acting selfishly during the funeral.
The OP shared, “I was wrecked. I’d spent the night before writing a eulogy and crying my eyes out. I was trying to hold it together in black heels and waterproof mascara.”
The OP was obviously shocked by this selfish request. She wrote, (Edited), “I thought she was joking. But no. My stepmother wanted me, the daughter of the dead man, to babysit her son so she could socialize like it was some brunch event.
I said no. Politely at first. She pushed. I literally lost it and said no, more firmly. She got huffy and whispered, ‘You know, you’re not the only one who lost someone.’”
It was the last straw, and the teen exploded, giving away all her real feelings about the situation.
The OP shared, “I snapped. I said, ‘You lost a husband of five years. I lost the man who raised me my entire life. You do the math.’ She gasped like I slapped her and stormed off. Later, at the reception, she told my mom and other relatives what I said, and now half the family is calling me ‘selfish’ and ‘immature.’
My aunt even said I ‘traumatized Adam’ because apparently he overheard us and cried. I feel bad for the kid, I do. But I was grieving too. I didn’t think it was my job to parent her child when I was barely keeping it together myself.
So, am I wrong here?”
Redditors rushed to the comments section to share their emotional opinions.
One person wrote, “You’re not wrong. There were aunts and uncles. When we were kids, we pretty much grouped up with cousins at funerals.
It would be a different if she asked you to watch him while she went to the bathroom or something, maybe even a group deciding to take shifts. Saying watch him while I am at the greeting line for 2 hours, no, that’s unreasonable. She should have had a sitter for him.”
Another user said, “Why would a 9-year-old, in a crowd of relatives, need a babysitter? And why couldn’t one of his grandparents watch him? Was he going to play with matches or run into traffic?
All the relatives piling on with their unsolicited advice (at least from you) is utterly inappropriate. You are grieving deeply, and anything else is too much.
OP, you are right. It will take a year before you feel like you’re not underwater or have a big towel wrapped around your head. The first 18 months after my husband died, I tripped and fell so many times I lost count. I broke 3 toes and 2 bones in my hand — all in separate falls, all because I didn’t look down to see the curb, hose, rock, box or whatever was in front of me.
Don’t let one single person tell you how to grieve and truly be a survivor. You never ’get over it’. You become OP, who lost her dad in 2025, but carries on because that’s what we all do eventually. May your beloved father rest in peace, and may you live in peace.”
One more person added, “Wow. The request was incredibly disrespectful. It was either thoughtless or intended to minimize or demean you. It gave no respect to your grief and offered no support. Ick.
You’re not wrong for that response, especially considering the circumstances. So sorry for your loss.”
Source: brightside.me
